...I'm soooo angry at my dad I don't even know where to start...and I want to call and talk to Keith but he's working...

The wedding is pretty much off...

He told me he wasn't paying for English again...I started failing, so I panicked and dind't tell them I was doing poorly...then the week before Meg's anniversary, I just lost it and couldn't make myself go to class...I haven't been back to English since...plus I had missed too many days and the university automatically will fail you from a class for missing too many days...

Ok...so I decided to try and save up...go skimpy on Christmas presents so I could put it towards school...even talked it over with Keith and we were going to figure something out. We'd be able to manage and pay for one class or we'd find a way to. He's been struggling with English too, so we were going to attempt to take it together.

I finally admitted to my mom last night that I was having issues with English...granted she and dad both thought I was still in class and was doing ok. Needless to say I also missed the drop date, since I'm used to only being on campus at night...and when you leave late from home...you still have an hour and fifteen minutes before you're on campus...45 minutes if you're leaving from Ruston so it takes a while to get there...

I just got a text message from Mama that Daddy now refuses to pay for any classes at all if I fail this semester...

Without those classes, I won't graduate and Daddy refuses to pay for the wedding if I don't graduate...he also refuses to walk me down the aisle if i don't graduate...

...and they wonder why I don't like talking to them and telling them what's going on...

I'm sitting here crying cause I can't talk to anyone at the moment...either I'm upset at the ones I usually talk to (insert parental units here) or they're at work (insert fiance here)

I don't know what I'm more upset about...daddy changing his mind...or mama talking to daddy about it after I specifically said I wanted to talk to her by herself because daddy and I talking together is never a good idea...we're too much alike and I get upset when we argue, which means the stubbornness kicks in and I stop listening

I didn't mind talking to daddy about it...I just wanted to talk to her first...someone just shoot me so my life that's so messed up it should be a soap opera can end...or I could just go walking back behind my house...maybe I'll get attacked by the bear that's back there right now